PATRON SAINT OF BAD DECISIONS
MATRON OF ADMINISTRATIVE ERROR
HARAMBAE
b. 27 MAY 1999 · MARTYRED 28 MAY 2016 · AGED 17
Blessed art thou among primates. Dicks out for Harambe, dicks in for HaramBAE. Bush did Harambe. HaramBAE has gud bush. Pray for us at the hour of the Friday close. AMEN · NFA
- THE SUPPLY
- One billion, all of it on the curve from block one. No allocation for the clergy. No vesting, no reserve, no treasury.
- THE PAIR
- Quoted in tokenized NVDA, not a stablecoin. Price moves with NVIDIA and goes still when US markets shut. He observes the sabbath.
- THE CURVE
- Graduates to a Uniswap v4 pool at 41.6 NVDA. Liquidity locks permanently at graduation. Until death do us part.
- THE WIDOW
- Recorded as surviving next of kin to a gorilla by a 2016 clerical error at the Hamilton County probate office. Four attempts to correct it. The filing stands, uncontested. She has stopped fighting it and launched an RWA token instead. Dicks out for Harambe, dicks in for HaramBAE. Bush did Harambe, HaramBAE has gud bush.
- THE POINT
- He was seventeen for exactly one day. Never got his sweet sixteen. No utility, no roadmap, no product — just Harambe and HaramBAE. Memorializing humanity's missing link, one hodler at a time. Impromptu IRL guest appearance from HaramBAE, graveside at the enclosure, guaranteed at $500M FDV. @CincinnatiZoo, DMs are open for collabs. NFA